An amusing post from our friends at the Architects Journal was forwarded to me this week providing the only laugh in an otherwise sombre week at the office. Apparently, according to the extra-marital dating site illicitencounters.com, ‘As the economic crisis forces many construction projects to be put on hold, thousands of married architects and developers are seeking erections of a less industrial nature.’

With time now on their hands the number of married builders, architects, and developers seeking affairs has increased by a third to 8000 people. This got me thinking: other than mess around on the internet looking at unsuitable sites, what on earth would architects do in the event their job no longer exists?

I can think of numerous activities that currently sound very appealing: long afternoons in the pub, visiting the museums and galleries that always get missed, renovating the flat and so on. Great for a while, but not wholly sustainable in one of the most expensive cities on earth.

Tricks of the trade

What skills does a trained architect have that could transfer to another profession? On the face of it a good project architect has an admirable skill set: problem solving, client facing, managerial aptitude. What people on the outside won’t know is that, unlike most other comparable professionals, we rarely receive any formal training in anything other than specialized architectural skills. For example, I may be the project architect on a £10,000,000 project, run a team of 5 architects and be responsible for managing both the contract and the design team but never have had even an hour of managerial training.

How have we gotten away with this? Well one reason lies in our ability to bamboozle the client with specialised jargon and nonsense vocabulary. As irritating as it is, this is a real skill for the successful architect often superceding the fundamental requirement to be able to design proficiently. The problem now, of course, is there are no clients left with whom to maintain this charade. The curtains have fallen from our ivory tower exposing the ridiculous prattle that has been the foundation of many a spurious architectural debate put forward with complete sincerity.

What will we do when our jobs cease to exist? The answer to my question is now blindingly obvious: become a politician. A political lifestyle is surely a perfect replacement for the type of architect described here. In fact, I think the shrewder architects already know this and are canvassing for jobs. Where to meet those in government? illicitencounters.com, of course!